The Immigration Text

 

Following are the excerpts from responses to The Immigration Test-the on-line questionnaire conducted by The Archive. Thanks to those of you who took the time to write during the past year. Only the obvious spelling errors have been corrected in the texts as we believe in preserving original voices-mistakes, accents, and all. This text will continue expanding as we receive more responses.

THIRD WAVE CAN TO BE A PHENOMENNON BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE SPLITED, NOT FRIENLY WHITH EACH OTHER, EXTREMELY JELOUS AND MOSTLY OUR PEOPLE (PARTICULARLY FROM BIG CITIES LIKE MOSKOW,LENINGRAD,KIEV) HAVE NO TRADITION. VERY EDUCATED PEOPLE WE CAN PLAY VERY BIG ROLE IN POLITICAL,CULTURAL AND GENERAL LIFE THIS COUNTRY,BUT WE ARE NOT EVEN HAVE RUSSIAN-JEWISH CLUB'S. I WOULD LIKE TO FIND IN OUR MUSEUM "TRADITION, TRADIDION AND TRADITION" WITHOUT THAT OUR THIRD WAVE VERY SOON CONVERT IN STAGNATION WATER."TAKE HAND'S TOGETHER"-HOW SAID BULAT OKUDGAVA.

Yes, I did consider myself Jewish. I've never thought before the immigration that I would become Russian. For me Russian Jew sounds weird.

When I was young (I was born in 1952) I think I almost was ashamed of being Jewish. I felt it made me so different from the rest of the people. As probably a lot of Russian Jews, I had no knowledge of our history, etc., only that feeling of being different and inferior. I learn how to live with it, of course. And later found some pride in the fact of my nationality. In the USA all my complexes of being "2nd sort" were replaced by more pleasant feeling of being "equal among equal". And I feel very proud knowing a little bit of our history now, and of our achievements. I can say I am happy that I am Jewish, but for it still means mostly nationality, As for the religious aspect, Judaism is a "better" religion for me than any other. I go to the synagogue sometime, not because I believe, but to be with other Jews, and to experience "togetherness."

I think this Wave means the end of Jewish history in Russia. I think also this Wave brought some people who did not have a chance to understand what they were running from and where they came to. But I think that all us will dissolve in the USA as many other generations before us.

We came to Detroit, which is very specific city: a lot of cars, no public transportation, no city life, so first impressions of Detroit were very unreal. I felt like I came to different planet. I did not have any dreams at all. It was dangerous to stay in Russia, but I realized, that it would be very difficult to start a new life in foreign country. Real life appeared to be very different: My husband and daughter loved the new country rather soon. As for me, only now after almost 10 years being here I began to like and understand something.

In period of stagnation ironically I did not feel myself Jewish and did not think of emigration. I grew up with sense of stability of the World around me. It was not good World at all. But felt it was going to be the same for ever.

I had friends of all the nationalities and did not feel the difference. Sometimes I was insulted by antisemites but might be because I was young it did not touch me too much. I have heard about people who emigrated but I thought that I could not be at their shoes.

Then time of perestroika came. And antisemites started to publish newspapers, make meetings etc. And reading all of this I realized that I kept my eyes closed for many years that there as a thick and very active layer in that society that does notaccept Jews ...

And other materials became available about history of Soviet Russia such as information about GULAG and planned deportation of Jews, about prohibition of religion and I realized that the country where I grew up had no moral. And this feeling was scary.

In the same time I thought that my ancestors had religion and I knew nothing about it. I went to the library and took books about Jewish traditions. It gave me sense about Jewish culture, history and tradition. I also went to Sinagoga for first time in my life. It was time of discovery of my belonging to Jewish culture for me.

Then in Leningrad while staying in emigration lines everywhere I felt very proud that I was Jewish because these people were so intelligent, well educated, and friendly even in these lines near OVIR, SPEIT, American Embassy, Post Office etc. (You can imagine how nice was to stay in these lines). Unfortunately when I came to America my feelings for being Jewish have been changed. I am still proud for education and high level of culture. But I was dissappointed in Jewish Vocational Service and Jewish Family Service a lot. The first think that I was told there that there was no long term financial support for me and my family(I did not count on that anyway) and because my non-american diploma there was no professional carrier for me in US. This way the best was to take job in bakery and stay there for ever. Same was for my husband and for my brother. Now sometimes I have to look for software engineers myself. So I called to JVS. I hoped to help someone. But I was told that because I cannot give a proof that this job will last for several years(??!!) they are not going to give me resumes. So I realized that pure help that JVS gives to newcomers is because they make barrier between new immigrant and his first job instead of making bridge to it.

And another disappointing thing was my visit to Sinagoga in America. People trying to get charity from there... Rebai trying to trade this charity to shovinistic ideas ... "I will help you with job if you attend my Sinagoga at Shabat" etc.

I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE JEWISH BY NATIONALITY, BUT NOT IN THE RELIGIOUS SENSE. I FEEL MORE EMPOWERED AFTER EMMIGRATING

I like the place where I live, there aren't many immigrants from ex-USSR

I have always considered myself Jewish, for the simple reason: this is the way I was taught by my parents ever since I can remember myself. And fortunately, I can be proud of it, especially in this country. Even though, I new something about being Jewish, I have discovered a lot of new about it.

I have always considered myself Jewish. I was only sixteen when my parents brought me to States, but I was always taught to be proud of my ethnicity. I still consider being Jewish an ethnic background as opposed to common notion in this country for it to be a religious preference. Jewishness for Russian Jews has very little to do with religion. It is a way of life.

The day of departure was November 23, 1989. It was already snowing and very gray. About 150 people were standing by the train track. They were our friends and relatives. I tried to be strong because I am the oldest of three girls, but I was very upset. I eventually creed very hard. I could not calm down for almost an hour. I will always remember that day. To me it was the end of an era. Our first stop in the US was Kennedy Airport. It was dirty and there were a lot of Russian immigrants there. It was a nightmare. After that we flew to Flint, MI, where everything looked like a paradise. We were in the upper midwest and my parents thought it was heaven. We rented a four bedroom apartment and for the first time in my life I had my own room. Five days after we came to Flint I started high school. I liked school. It was very easy. My American Dream is to have my own business. My husband is a mechanik, and we want to open our own garage :)

When I was in my first year of college I did a term paper about children of Russian-Jewish immigrants and I had a chance to reed many papers by renown anthropologists who believe that the biggest phenomenon in the third wave are people like me who came here as teenagers. I have a copy of a doctorate dissertation on the topic. It is called "Generation Lost." Apparently we are thought of as generation with a big identity crisis.

I loved everything here, I never had nostalgia, I am in love with this country, and I am not bluffing.

I consider myself "Jewish", and I always was interested in Jewish history and religion. In 1987, I was first time in Passover, which was organized seriously in Moscow. First time after emigration I attended the lessons of studying Torah. Two first years of emigration I participated in Passover celebration. However, I never was a religious Jew, and never observed Koshrut, Yom Kippur, shabat, etc.